How to Be a Caring Friend During Tough Times
As great as it would be if life were all sunshine and rainbows, it’s not. Life’s highs and lows make everything incredible or terrible, with no in-between. When hard times inevitably hit, friendships fall by the wayside, leaving loved ones unsure how to proceed.
If your friend is going through something difficult, it’s normal not to know how to help. You’re uncertain of what’s too much and what isn’t enough. Luckily, no more guessing is required. Here are a few options to show your friends you care and are there for them no matter what.
1. Send a Gift
Sometimes, friends must be alone when they are going through a tough time. Staying in their own space helps control their environment and makes processing emotions easier. That, however, doesn’t mean you can’t still be a caring friend to them. It would be best if you did it from afar.
This is easier said than done, especially if you’re close. Your first instinct may be to head to their house and talk it through, but they must be receptive. If they’re not, it’s invasive. Instead, tell them you’re thinking of them by sending a sympathy gift.
This could be their favorite meal or a floral bouquet. It could be comfort items — like blankets and slippers — or a gift card for essentials. Whatever you send, include a kind message to express your feelings. Let them know you care about them and what they’re going through. In the future, this gesture will be a bright spot during an otherwise dark time for them.
2. Text Your Support
Being a good friend is often about expressing your support. When your friend is going through it, reaching out to let them know you’re there is often all it takes. You have to find the right way to phrase it.
For one, your text shouldn’t include any requirement on their end. Asking when you can come over or their weekend plans isn’t inappropriate. Your friend may not be ready for that kind of social situation yet. Instead, it would be best to focus on yourself and what you’re doing on their behalf. That likely is a short text saying that you care about them and you’re there when they’re ready.
It can be that easy. The point is to express your love for your friend without requiring a response. That way, no matter their emotional state, they don’t feel the pressure of another thing to do. Rest assured, they’ll reply when ready and will be grateful for your kind text.
3. Be a Good Listener
When your friends are ready to discuss what happened, they’re vulnerable. Sharing how they processed the situation and explaining its context isn’t easy, but they’re taking steps to clue you into what’s been happening. So, you owe it to them to be a good listener.
Practically, that means giving your friend the floor. They get to explain why things have been so tough lately, and you’re there to listen. Try only to interject if you have a question or they ask you for advice. Otherwise, let them vent and work through the story uninterrupted.
When they’re done speaking, you can provide your input on how you relate. Doing this later in the conversation ensures they know you care about them and their situation. It centers the discussion on them and their hardship, allowing you to support them, which is bound to bring you closer together.
4. Understand Emotional Reactions
There isn’t a playbook on how people experience heavy emotions. There’ss no way to know exactly how someone will react to a tough time until they’re in it. So,it’ss important to understand the variances your friend could experience and be sympathetic to them.
If your friend experienced a loss — a loved one’s death or divorce, for example — they may follow the five stages of grief. However, they could jump around the stages and experience them out of order. Or they may have a unique response.
The best thing you can do as their friend is to be understanding. Going through something difficult only to be judged by how you respond to it worsens things. So, focus on caring about your friend and understanding the variance in emotional reactions. It’ll help you support them better and avoid making your friend feel worse.
5. Validate Their Feelings
Processing emotions and navigating relationships during tough situations is no easy task. Sometimes, people are insecure about how they’re feeling. They don’t know which way is up and how they are”supposed” to move forward. That uncertainty is where you discuss what they’re going through and how they feel and aim to validate them. Let them know that their sadness, anger, or frustration is normal. Please encourage them to embrace their feelings and their emotions.
Even better, share resources if you have a personal experience you can draw from or a book to recommend. The goal is to ensure they don’t feel alone. Grief, trauma, and all other negative emotions can be unpredictable. So, be there for your friends and allow them to show up genuinely, embracing their feelings. Their experience navigating tough times will be better for it.
Brighter Days Ahead
Seeing someone you love go through a tough time is never easy. As a caring friend, you want to help make things better. However, factors out of your control limit what you can do and when.
Ultimately,it’ss the thought that counts. Doing what you can when you can impact your friend’s experience. Soon enough, life will get a bit better. When that happens, your friend will look back fondly on how you supported them when they were experiencing a low.
